the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
