So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
