So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
