Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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