I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
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Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
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Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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