we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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