i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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