Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
