OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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