No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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