Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I have aggressive nipples.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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