I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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