went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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