The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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