If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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