What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize