Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
