he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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