OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
