I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
