: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
