Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
