can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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