The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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