Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
mondays should just be called national damage control day
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?