Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.