My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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