Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.