I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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