You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
