So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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