I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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