my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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