my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
