butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
