i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
