my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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