pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
