one two three fourrrrnication!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
