i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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