We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just forgot I was standing up.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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