You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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