I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
handjob tips. give me some.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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