Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
