we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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