Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize