I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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