we're blogging at a bar
Pants 0. Shit 1.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
