i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
