We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
