you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize