I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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