I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
