yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize