just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
