I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
