So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
