I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize