I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
