Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
