We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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