were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
